Coming soon ... the Google car ...

The car will have a low initial price -- and may even be offered free -- but it will have electronic context-sensitive ad displays on all four sides, the front dash, and the backside of the front seat headrests (for people sitting in the back seat).

Rear-ad display

For other drivers that follow you too close, ads on the rear of your car will appeal to their aggressive driving personalities, possibly ads for car races, coffee, guns, and other weapons. Or, they may take the opposite approach and display ads for psychotherapy, or better yet, highly-profitable prescription drugs.

With small cameras installed in the rear of the car they'll also use image recognition to determine if the passengers in the following car are male, female, or some combination of the two. But of course if that car has a GPS-enabled phone (especially Android phones) Google will know exactly who is in that car, and the ads will be tailored just for them.

As a final note regarding the rear display, if you are a driver that always leaves your turn signals on, ads related to memory, vision, and aging use will be displayed.

Front ad display

If you happen to be the aggressive driver tailgating someone else the obvious ads to display on the front of your car (which will be seen in the other car's rearview mirror) will be insurance and safety related. It is anticipated that insurance dealers may in fact pay you to drive this way to generate more ad impressions.

Side-panel ads

Ads on the sides of the car are trickier, and the algorithms are still being worked on. Ads will vary depending on your speed, geographic location (GPS), whether you're passing someone else or being passed, and who might be in the other car (once more related to image recognition and GPS). Again, these ads are trickier, and click-thru rates are expected to be lower, at least initially.

Interior ad display

Inside the car, the front dash ad display(s) will of course be tailored to you and your passengers, as will be the ads displayed behind your front seat headrests. Cameras, voice-, and image-recognition will be used to determine the sex of your passengers, and to analyze your conversations. (Imagine having a conversation about a Mexican restaurant and an ad pops up showing you Ernesto's is just a mile away. Once you select Ernesto's, Google Maps kicks in to take you right to the front door.)

First-generation scent detectors are also expected to be available, either as standard factory equipment or a dealer option, and will be used to display ads for deodorant, toothpaste, mouthwash, perfumes, Dr. Scholl's shoe inserts, cologne, etc. (Personal hygiene is an enormous market not currently well-represented by internet ads.) Other ads regarding more personal subjects such as breast enhancement, weight loss, or thinning hair may also be shown, but the algorithms are still being developed to make sure you're the only person in the car when these ads are displayed.

Code name

The car is expected to be a small fuel-efficient vehicle (possibly even battery-powered), reminiscent of the old "Spot" prototypes. As such, the current code name for the vehicle is the g-Spot, but that name is expected to be changed before the vehicle is brought to market.

Microsoft press release

In related news, Microsoft immediately issued a press release stating that the automobile business has been and always will be one of their core businesses. As such they are pre-announcing the release of their own vehicle, which they expect to be available in the next "2-3 years". Sources say that in lieu of creating their own vehicle, a hostile takeover of Ford is also possible.